One of our favorite “indie” screenwriters Shannonn Kelly is trying to finish 3 feature scripts before the end of 2012. That’s a big challenge she’s given herself, but we want to cheer her on. Here’s some latest feedback on “He Wore Blue” a modern suspenseful crime drama.
We asked Shannonn a question.
Q: What was your inspiration for this latest feature script “He Wore Blue”?
A: “I have some pretty awesomely talented FaceBook friends. Among them, two in particular are well known actors. I wanted to see them both in a film together, so I wrote a script for them.
Often, I’m inspired by an actor or an acting performance which compels me to write a script specifically for them. Those scripts generally get written quicker because the inspiration of their talent pushes me to completion faster than a script I have to do a lot of research on.”
Here’s what BlueCat Reviewer #1 Has to Say:
“He Wore Blue” has great energy. You can feel a passion for the material and it’s clear that you had a great deal of fun playing in the world you created. The scenes are short and filled with pep, bouncing from location to location and moving from scene to scene. This prevents the action from stagnating. You also limit your descriptions well, preventing the action lines from being bogged down with extraneous detail. It adds up to a fast and fun read.
Also greatly appreciated a number of the little touches you made to ground the script in real life and prevent it from feeling like just another entry in an already crowded genre. My favorite simple example of this would have to be the description of Jack watching “Storage Wars,” on page 40. It’s a wonderfully observed little moment and a perfect example of just the kind of junk-food, fun but simple television you watch in times like this. That little touch brings a real sense of truth and levity to the moment.
Here’s what BlueCat Reviewer #2 Has to Say:
The opening sequence of “He Wore Blue” shows the journeys of three of your main characters converging on the same location. The robbery and hostage situation involving Rose generates suspense and tension effectively. Due to an unusual circumstance between the three men, Charlie comes under suspicion for being involved in the crime in some way. This is a fairly good source of suspense in the second act, as the audience begins to wonder whether a miscarriage of justice will take place and Charlie will be unfairly arrested. Charlie has a reason to worry.
You capture the romantic sub-plot in the form of the Jack/Rose relationship tentative connection and growing closeness convincingly.
Your dialogue is generally strong and expressive of character, and you individualize your secondary characters, capturing the sometimes-fractious tone of family interaction convincingly – Terra is a particularly memorable character, with an amusingly precocious attitude.
You put both Jack and Charlie in very real and immediate danger at the conclusion, cranking up the tension to good effect.